I have a friend who battled a rare abdominal tumor a few years ago and her trust and confidence in God inspired all of us around her. Our prayer group even adopted her motto – God’s Got This – and have applied it ever since to all sorts of situations. I was struck by this young mother’s steadfast faith and grace under affliction.

I, on the other hand, can recall riding a roller coaster of emotions during times of suffering. Despair and grief, doubt and some anger, mixed in with times of trust and peace. My husband and I were discussing all our “loose ends” recently, distressing situations touching our lives over which we have little or no control outside of praying and waiting. And I thought of these situations as I read Psalm 25. David says, in verse 17, that “the troubles of my heart are enlarged.” I so get that. Especially in the dark when I’m supposed to be sleeping. But, in verse 13, he also writes of one whose “soul shall abide in well-being.” That’s where I want to be, saying “it is well with my soul” in darkness and daylight, instead of flopping so often into the miry pit of anxiety.

I turned to Philippians 4 where Paul talks about how he has learned to be content in all situations and has “learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” What’s the secret?! It’s not spelled out. The preceding verses give some clues about praying and thanking God and what we think about. As I was searching for an answer, I looked up from my perch at our dining room table, and here’s what I saw through the window:

And this:

The little creature was a welcome distraction from these hard questions. He let me walk outside and shoot him from another angle:

It seemed that he was helping me think along the lines of perspective, realizing that I don’t have the whole picture. Ever. And suffering tests how much I’m willing to trust the One who can see everything. Praying to God, thanking Him, and meditating on what is true and commendable, as Paul encourages us to do in Philippians 4:4-9, are evidence of walking by faith not by sight. The challenge is to trust God’s sovereignty, love, and goodness even when we can’t see it or feel it.

My friend Vaneetha Rendall Risner has written a book on suffering called The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering. Her scars include the death of an infant son, an incurable disease, and a broken marriage. She says:

When we don’t even feel his presence but have to rely on his promises, he is doing a deeper work than we could ever imagine. Suffering changes us like nothing else can. It draws us to God. It makes us more compassionate and understanding and wise. It produces perseverance and teaches us how to earnestly pray. It reframes our perspective. … There are no easy answers with grief, and pretending to have them can seem superficial at best and cruel at worst. God and his ways are inscrutable, and often we need to leave it at that without offering trite explanations.”

Is this not a large part of Paul’s “secret”? Relying on God’s promises while knowing His ways are inscrutable. Trusting His character while wading through the muck of life. The battleground is inside ourselves. My hope is that when waves of despair or sorrow or rage or anxiety rise up that you and I go to God, wrestle if necessary, seek His Face and search His Word, until we find peace and a God’s-Got-This perspective. May we not give up or lose heart as we pray and wait.

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in You I trust …

Psalm 25:1-2